How Macrapolis Mayor Will Rush Secured Improbable Fifth Term in Office

Mayor Will Rush delivering fifth inauguration address at Shitty Hall in January.

Mayor Will Rush delivering fifth inauguration address at Shitty Hall in January. Photo By D.M. Notsquiat

It’s not often that a leader comes along who possesses enough moxie to take a stand and completely redefine the original purpose of term limit laws for elected officials.

January marked the third time in more than 16 years that Macrapolis Mayor Will H. Rush has done just that. He’s now embarking on his fifth consecutive term as mayor.

Detractors assume that it is the trillionaire mayor’s deep pockets that allowed him to secure three improbable term-limit extensions. But, supporters of Rush argue differently.

“Three extra terms aside, it’s hard to argue with results,” Macrapolis City Council Speaker Eva Thatcher tells The Bluffington Roach. “We should applaud the mayor for giving the city a much needed facelift over the past 16 years. We have thriving neighborhoods, safer streets, and unprecedented choice in education.”

Once Rush stops extending his term limits and finally leaves office, he’ll likely be remembered for his unapologetic delivery and his never-take-no-for-an-answer-at-any-costs-absolutely-never-ever attitude. It is Rush’s win-at-all-costs mentality that likely compels him to continuously rewrite the most basic tenets of democracy in Macrapolis.

Rush sent shock waves throughout the city three months prior to the 2005 mayoral election. That’s when whispers emerged about his intentions to challenge the city’s term limit laws.

Those intentions were soon made public. He warned that a transfer of power in Macrapolis just four short years after the tragic events of 9/11 would prove calamitous for the city.

Macrapolis wasn’t directly hit, but the city is situated on the border of New York City, New Jersey, and Who-Gives-a-Shit-It’s-Clearly-Not-a-Real-Place. Thus, Rush argued that under such extenuating circumstances, his business savvy and proven track-record of making money for himself, made him the most qualified person in Macrapolis to keep the city safe from potential terror plots.

Despite his compelling argument, the odds seemed against the mayor to pull off such a feat. Macrapolis had already voted twice in earlier elections to institute term limits. Mayor Rush himself had previously lambasted the notion of lifting the law.

Rush’s predecessor, former Mayor Benjamin Gates, made a failed bid for a third term when he was in office. Gates argued that he needed to remain in office while the Macrapolis Blacksox made their run at a third-consecutive Major League Volleyball championship — following back-to-back World Series victories in ’96 and ‘97.

Rush’s push gained momentum as Council Speaker Thatcher, who staunchly opposed Gates’ bid for a third term, unexpectedly flip-flopped on her stance. She began lobbying council members to vote in favor of the eleventh-hour extension.

Rush also received timely endorsements from various Macrapolis Power Players — including the owners of the Macrapolis Daily Star and the Macrapolis Tribune. And, with controversial approval from the city council, Rush successfully secured the opportunity to run for a third term — in an election that he ultimately won by a narrow margin.

“He’s proven himself to be the most prolific and forward-thinking leader to ever take the reins of Macrapolis,” the Tribune wrote in an editorial favoring a third term for Rush. “Macrappers have spoken. They’re clamoring to keep a man in office whose proven track-record of making a lot of money for himself — will ensure that this great metropolis remains a safe place to live.”

Deja-vu struck the city in 2009, as the worst recession since the Great Depression era brought the global economy to its knees. After promising that he’d never bid for an additional term again, fate tugged on the cape of the super-rich mayor for a second time.

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