club

A female club-goer actually attempted to gain pull at a nightclub Saturday by flirting with the club’s bathroom attendant, witnesses say.

It was Latisha “Ti-Ti” Smith’s 26th birthday. She had arranged earlier in the week to celebrate her birthday at Top-Shelf Nightclub in Panhattan. Apparently she thought her friends would be able to get in for free all night. But when some of them arrived late on Saturday, club personnel denied them free entry — claiming that they were only good up until midnight.

A male witness says the heinous incident occurred at approximately 1:33 a.m. That’s when he saw Smith engaged in a conversation with the club’s bathroom attendant. He alleges that Rollin Handwyer, a 32-year-old veteran restroom-helper, and Smith were talking near the entrance of the ladies room.

Phil Maddox, a 23-year-old resident of East Macrapolis in Clarkelyn, says he witnessed the attendant exchange phone numbers with Smith. He allegedly overheard the attendant promising to “hook” Smith and her friends “up” if they ever decided to party at Top Shelf again.

Dumbfounded, Maddox turned to the dude waiting next to him on the bathroom line for confirmation. The dude returned an equally perplexed look.

“That’s the wildest convo I’ve heard in a minute,” Maddox tells The Bluffington Roach. “This chick really tried to get the club hook-up through the soap and paper-towel guy. No disrespect to what he do, but I mean…”

According to Maddox:

The improbable connection was sparked off by Smith’s visible anger. She loudly vented to her friend about the club and its staff while she waited on line for the bathroom.

“Do these bitches know who the fuck I am? This little raggedy ass club ain’t shit. I’ll buy this whole spot out,” Smith allegedly told her friend. “That corny-ass nigga at the door better stop playing with me. I’ll fuck his whole life up.”

The men’s and the ladies rooms are too small at Top-Shelf for an attendant to stand inside. So, Handwyer had his station — which was lined with paper-towels, $1 pieces of gum, and $2 peppermints — set up on a wall in-between the entrance of the two restrooms.

Due to the close set-up, Handwyer had a front-row view of Smith’s tirade. Right before Smith entered the bathroom — she hocked and spat into his trash bin. And, that’s when Handwyer began plotting his attack.

Perhaps it was the bulging flesh seeping through her three-sizes-too-small backless top. Or, maybe it was her skin-tight skirt, which partially revealed the folds of her butt cheeks. Or, it could’ve been her shimmering, rhinestone-encrusted birthday tiara.

Whatever it was, something enticed Handwyer to turn up the charm. We reached out to him for an account of how he laid his mac-game down. This is what he had to say:

I’m in the back of the club by the restrooms doing what I do or whatever. Getting that bread, yah dig? I’m a smooth nigga; so of course I be rapping the joints up all night. They stay hitting me back with the smiles, waves, may I’s and thank yous.

It’s nothing though. That’s the norm.

So, like 1:30 rolls around. By that time, I’m in full g-mode. I go to give this dude a paper towel to dry his hands or whatever, when I seen shorty come out the ladies room.

I peeped her while she was waiting on line to use the bathroom. I was like ‘yoooo she’s bad as shit.’ She had this sexy black top on with the back out, and the cake was looking O.D. right.

So, I tell the dude I’m handing the paper towel to, to kindly step to the side so I can go at shorty. Then I hit her with the craziest line. I was like ‘Ma you wet as hell (cause her hands was wet or whatever). Is there anything I can do to help you with that? Of course she start smiling back and all that.

She looked wild pissed before that though, and I’m like ‘shorty your ass too fat to be mad like that.’ I need to see you smile? I caressed her chin as I said it too — on some true smooth nigga shit.

Then she told me how the doorman was bullshitting and shit. Nigga made her peoples pay at the door. The crazy thing about it was, she said she was wit like four other joints just as bad as her. Like, how you gonna make the bad joints pay to get in? That’s bad business right there.

I’m like these door niggas be wilin’. So I was like, ‘shorty take down my number and hit me up next time you roll through so I can handle that.’ She took it down, gave me hers, smiled, thanked me, and threw a dollar in my tip-basket. Light work.

BluffRo reached out to Smith multiple times to confirm Handwyer’s account, but we were unable to get in contact with her. It’s still unclear how large of a role alcohol played in the incident or whether Handwyer, or any other restroom attendant for that matter, can actually have “pull” at a club.

serialclub_baller — Ron Thomas, 25, learning the hard way that credit card purchases actually have to be paid back.

The debt crisis in America is dire. Millions of homeowners and college graduates are experiencing the venomous downside of borrowed money.

One dummy from Historia, Kings is feeling the sting of burrowed money after investing for years in the most ignorant of American dreams — clubbing. Ron Thomas, 25, is in a $26,000 hole after spending countless nights in the club popping bottles like a rapper in a music video.

Thomas didn’t understand that you cannot live life like a rich rapper on a referee’s salary at FootFlavor.

“Real talk though, I got it in. Bitches, bottle service, sparkly candles and all that. The hoes was on it,” Thomas tells The Bluffington Roach. “Like three years back I got my first credit card, and I thought it was like free money. But then, not too long ago, niggas from the bank started hitting me up like ‘yo, you [have to] pay this back.’ So, I’m like, O-deeeeee!”

Thomas is slowly coming to understand a concept that many Americans inexplicably fail to realize. When people borrow money from a lender, they have to eventually pay that lender back more money than they originally received. This foreign concept is known as a loan.

After defaulting on payment after payment, Thomas and his family are struggling to stay afloat. He’s fathered two children by two different women. Fittingly, Thomas reeled both of them in at the club with watery orange juice and overpriced Grey Goose, which was actually house vodka in a Grey Goose bottle.

Buying clothing and food for his young children has become increasingly more difficult for Thomas. His job just doesn’t cover the cost of care for a grown man, two children, and considerable debt.

He will likely have to get another job working night shifts somewhere else. Thomas fears that this will hinder his ability to ball-out at nightclubs.

Yes, he is still attempting to ball-out at nightclubs.

He hopes to successfully juggle the two jobs and bottle service.

“Times are pretty rough honestly. But, I’m going to do whatever makes me happy. Broke dudes worry about spending bread. Getting money niggas don’t,” Thomas says. “Besides, you only live once; that’s the muthafickin’ motto.”

Tag: club

Shock Story: Female Club-Goer Looks to Bathroom Attendant for Pull

Serial Club Baller in Serious Debt