An Onx teenager feels like an asshole for allowing the barbers and customers at his local barbershop to come to the completely wrong consensus about the name of a former politician.

“Somehow, every dude in the shop came to the conclusion that her name is Collida Rice,” Gabriel Walker, a 17-year-old Warningsign Heights native, tells The Bluffington Roach.

The group was actually referring to former U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice — the first black female to hold the position.

The confusion began Thursday afternoon while Walker was waiting to get a haircut. That’s when everyone at the barbershop broke into a thoughtful conversation about politics — specifically the effectiveness of black politicians in America.

Some of the folks in the barbershop were quick to characterize black politicians as self-serving and ineffective. Others argued that black politicians can only accomplish as much as the system allows them to and as much as black people demand, according to Walker.

One barber was adamant in his belief that most black politicians are in power because they’re willing to sell-out their own people. The barber argued that black politicians are able to push agendas that are blatantly detrimental to their black constituencies because many black voters are falsely comforted by the fact that they share the same skin color.

Walker says the barber delivered an impassioned and eloquent speech, in which he argued that there are hordes of black leaders, at every level, who do more to derail the progress of the black community than they do to advance it.

The speech was progressing flawlessly. That is… up until the point that he attempted to cite former Secretary of State Rice is an example of such a politician but couldn’t remember her name.

Soon after, the entire barbershop joined the effort to remember her name. Walker says it took nearly 12 minutes of concentrated group-think for the adult men present at the barbershop to reach a consensus.

“I felt like a real dickhead. He was really making some decent points too,” Walker says. “I knew right away that he was talking about Condoleezza Rice. But, those guys were stumped. The barbers even turned off their clippers to stop and think about it for a minute.”

Finally — with a sense of relief — one customer threw out the name “Collida.” He was confident that he had nailed it. Apparently the rest of the shop was as well.

“That’s it, Collida. Damn, yeah, Collida,” said one man while nodding his head up and down, according to Walker. “Yep, Collida. I don’t know why I couldn’t remember that. She was in office with that ol’ devil Bush.”

Jones allowed an otherwise thoughtful conversation to sound really stupid. The most remarkable part of it all is that no one thought to double-check her name. They were that confident that “Collida” was correct.

“I feel a sense of shame,” Walker says. “But, is it bad that I’m kind of glad that I didn’t say anything — just because it was the funniest shit ever?”